Socializing is a two-way street. Have you ever had a really good conversation with someone only to realize later that you did all of the talking? In retrospect, it was more of a monologue than a dialogue. A great conversation is one that engages the other person and persuades them to share about themselves. Confidence in yourself can only get you so far, it is a genuine interest in others that will win them over.

So what do you talk about with the other person? Do you bring up a laundry list of interests, hobbies, and hot topics in the hopes that one magically sticks? It is important to think back to your “why” for a moment. Your “why” is what drives you, and it is deeper than all of the “what” that floats on the surface of who you are. Sure you may love ice cream, soccer and have a drawer full of Hawaiian shirts, but do any of these things really drive your decision making? What you want out of your prospect is a commitment, a decision, so you need to know what influences them when making such a decision.

To draw out what goes through a person’s mind when making a commitment, talk about some common motivators – the prospect’s relationships with time, stress, money, family, health, and community. You may have already noticed your prospect make small decisions that reveal something about his or her why. Did she make a comment about how she never has enough time in her day? Does he skip to the value menu wherever he eats? Continue to pull back the curtain on what motivates these people the most. Ask, if you had an extra 2 hours a day, what would you do with it? Perhaps your prospect would exercise more. Perhaps she would sleep. Perhaps she would finally connect with a friend she’s been neglecting.

Many prospects may not be aware of their own “why” until you help them discover what is motivating them to make the decisions they do. Your prospect may respond saying, “I didn’t realize I was so stressed! Now I can see how everything I did today was to try and manage the chaos that was going on in my head.” It can lead your prospect to make better choices… healthier ones! For instance, a friend may be puzzled by the question, “if you could do one thing differently that would improve your health, what would it be?” However, once you introduce the simple solution of a healthier cup of coffee, they may realize how uncomplicated and inexpensive a healthy lifestyle can be. Once you find your prospect’s why you can truly help him begin to live the life he wants for himself!

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